Post Mortem
by galia-carrot
Summary: Trip and Hoshi take a bath and contemplate the effect of their ordeal with the non-corporeal beings and the illness they'd wished to observe.


The water is warm around them, it smells clean and fresh despite being the same re-sequenced water they've been using for the past 4 years, but after 24 hours in decon and dying it's the best water in the galaxy to her. Hoshi relaxes back against Trip's chest and jumps at the heat of his skin.

"You okay?" He whispers, brushing her hair back and frowning down at her.

"Y-You're skin is hot." She mutters, reaching up to feel his face, warm but not worryingly warm, he offers her a tired smile, it's been one hell of a day and the very thought of a fever in either of them sends shivers down her spine.

"I'm alright, not dying. See?" He takes her hand, presses it against the side of his throat and gently pushes her head down to his chest. She can hear and feel his heart beat, it's beating as steadily as it always had before. She moves his hand to the side of her throat. "And you're alive too." He says with a gentle but forced smile.

He's trying to hide it but he's as upset and nervous as she is, and she knows him too well to fall for it. She sits up, faces him and wraps her legs around his waist, the water sloshing around her as she does. "You're not okay, I know that look, you're not okay." He tries to look away but she turns his face to look at her. "What's wrong?" It's a bit of a stupid question given the events of the day, but she knows he needs prompting to talk about things that bother him.

"I-I don't know how much you remember but at one point you were really out of it, and – and you kept shouting at me in what had to be half a dozen languages. You were tryin' to get out of decon, and you had this look in your eye, this terrified look, like some sort of trapped animal. You were so determined to get out and you did, you got out and you got all the way to the turbo lift before I was able to drag you back." He starts explaining quietly. "An-and when I did you just kind of collapsed and – and even after everything in the expanse and on this mission I don't think I've ever been so afraid I was gonna lose you then when you looked like that. Th-then I had to sedate you an-and I was sure that if the fever hadn't killed you the sedation would, but it didn't matter anyway 'cause I would be sedated too and if you were gonna die I probably would too…"

She doesn't remember any of that, in fact she doesn't remember much after hearing the story of him taking the dining room table apart at thanksgiving dinner. "You didn't lose me." She says quietly, stroking the stubble on the side of his face, she understands his fear.

"Doesn't matter, I thought I was going to. Even when the Xindi had you in their grip I-I just knew you'd be okay, that somehow we'd all get out of that. But that look in your eyes, that defeated look you gave me, it was like you'd been condemned to death and I was the one who condemned you… I thought you were right, I was _sure_ you were right." He explains, he's running a hand along her back now, as though trying to reassure himself she's real and isn't going to vanish in front of him. "Are you okay?" His voice is heavy and this time it's her turn to look away.

"I-I will be." She says, looking down at the water. "But I think I know what you were talking about, only I don't remember being in deacon and trying to get out I just – I could've sworn I was back in that holding cell, on the Xindi weapon being tortured and that I had one chance at escape." She explains, still focusing very intently on the side of the tub, if she looks him in the eye she won't be able to explain.

"But you weren't. And we didn't die." He reassures her. It's her turn to make sure he's real, she rests a hand on his chest, tapping her fingers against him.

"I was alone though, and you – well it must've been you – were this invisible force holding me back, I-I thought it was the worms." She whispers, her voice unsteady, she worries she might start to cry if she says anything more.

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her down against him, she can hear his heart again and she tightens her grip on him. They lay like this in silence until the water starts to cool and he begins to shiver underneath her.

They get out of the bath and he starts to put his uniform on, obviously preparing to return to his quarters. "Will you stay?" She doesn't want to be alone and the thought of him leaving puts a pit of unease back in her stomach. At her question a look of near relief seems to come over Trip, she realizes he didn't want to leave and doesn't want to be alone anymore then she does.

"Yeah."

They get into her small bed together and she rests her head against his chest so she can hear his heart and have the reassurance that they're both alive. Somehow they manage to both fall asleep that night, content and nestled very close together in her small, warm bed.


End file.
